K.C. Neal and her friend Katie came up with this event after Katie experienced bullying regarding the debut of her novel. This hop is an opportunity for lots of people to stand up and say that bullying is not acceptable. For my post, I’m going to share an experience I had with bullying growing up.

Girls are mean. Any woman on planet earth knows what I’m talking about. In my middle school, there were lots of little groups that didn’t like outsiders. Not one big clique but several smaller ones. For several years, I was a member of one of those groups. We were a small group of girls, and while I don’t remember being outright mean to others, I’m sure I wasn’t welcoming.

And then suddenly, one day I was an outsider. It was like I had the plague. These girls (who until very recently I had considered very good friends) wouldn’t speak to me or even look at me.  They started spreading rumors about me and telling other girls in our classes not to speak to me. I used to come home crying to my mother about how mean they were. I have always been a sensitive person and my feelings were easily hurt, so you can imagine how devastating that was for me. To make matters even worse, I had no idea what I had done to deserve it.

This went on for weeks and weeks; nobody would speak to me at school, or worse, they would say hurtful things, then I would go home and cry. Every day, my mom would say things like “They’re just jealous of you,” “You don’t need them,” and “You’re too good for them.” You know, all the things a mother is supposed to say.

Finally, I started to get pissed. I don’t know if mom’s wisdom finally started to sink in, or if I just figured it out on my own, but maybe I didn’t need them after all. I started ignoring anyone who said something mean. I held my head up and walked on by. And the craziest thing started happening: they stopped making fun of me. My wise mother had said: if you stop reacting, they’ll get bored and move on. And she was right! (Mom, if you’re reading this, I did not just say you were right.)

Eventually, there was something new to talk about so I became old news. People started speaking to me again and I gained some new friends. Still, I had to face those same mean girls every day at the bus stop. But that’s what I did – I faced them. I didn’t let them scare me anymore. Then one day, and I’ll never forget this, one of the girls walked up to me and said “I’ve decided to forgive you.” I should have been ecstatic, right? Here she was, the most popular girl in my group and she was forgiving me (I never did find out what I needed forgiving for, by the way). I wasn’t pissed anymore, I was over that. But I was also over her and over the drama. Mom was right (again, Mom, I did not just say that), I was too good for them. So I looked her right in the eyes and said “That’s good. But I don’t forgive you.”

We were never really friends again after that, my group and I. We saw each other in school over the years, shared some classes and were friendly enough, but we were never close. I never forgot how they made me feel and I was careful never to make anyone feel the same way. I didn’t want to be that kind of person.

I have a 13 year old son now and I have made it known again and again that if he sees someone being bullied, he has an obligation to not only not participate, but to stand up for the person being bullied. Whether that means literally standing up to the bullies, telling a teacher or other adult, or befriending the victim, he is expected to not stand by and let it happen.

It seems like there’s a story in the news so often now about a child taking action after having been bullied. Sometimes they fight back, sometimes they harm others with a weapon and sometimes they even end their own lives. As an adult, I feel it is my responsibility to do anything I can to prevent that from happening to anyone we know.

I included some resources I have come across while perusing the interwebs. I am not endorsing any of these sites, nor am I affiliated with them in any way, I am just listing them for your convenience.

StopBullying.org
Anti Bullying Network
Bullying.org
Kids Against Bullying
No Bully

Below is the linky for the hop, so please stop by some of the other blogs and see what they have to say about bullying. (The linky appears to go in and out, so if it’s not showing, click here to go to K.C. Neal’s post with all the info.)